Sunday, May 10, 2009

An Inside Look

There is so very much (too much) on my mind lately and I hardly know where to begin.

This blog has become more of an assignment of different photo challenges. Thank god for that too, or I might have let it go. But I feel as though I've stopped sharing about my life...the good, the bad, the ugly and the phenomenal stuff too.

I, like everyone else, am made up of so many different parts. I often want to share them ALL.

My photos are a part of me...a big part. But most of them have stories, or at least lots of feelings around them. I don't want this to "just" be a photography blog. I want it to be a Nancy Blog. I want it to be an outlet....a deeper expression of who I am. So I'm going to start that change. I'm going to begin by letting you know that this week has been brutal for me. Some Mother's Days are worse than others...that is, since I lost the most important person in my life 6 years ago.
And for some reason, this year is kicking me in the ass. Maybe it's because I've had a bunch of health problems that various tests have been trying to diagnose. When I'm hurting, or scared, I miss mom more than ever. Maybe it's because my job has stirred up a whole lot of new feelings in me that I often don't know how to process. She would have helped me with it all.

Maybe it's because I live in the most beautiful home in the most beautiful area I could have ever imagined, and I want so desperately to share it with her.

And maybe it's just because.

Anyway, here are some flowers for all the moms out there...and all the suffering souls without a mom to send flowers to.
Here are some flowers for you, mom.

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Anonymous said...

I think you should blog whatever makes you happy. I'm always reading, and I'm here.

Those shots are incredible, I really love them!

Anonymous said...

I think you have a lot of courage & resiliency. And you can also be darkly funny, which I consider a nice perk in dealing with anything. I'd love to read more of how your regard & define your life on this blog, or on any blog.
Have as happy of a day today as you know your beautiful Mom would want if she could be here to spend it with you. ~Mary

madcobug said...

Great picture of you and your Mom Nancy. The other pictures are beautiful. You are a Mom to your fur babies so Happy Mother's Day to you! Hugs. Helen

Martha said...

(((Bug hugs Nance))) I'm sorry this is such a difficult day for you.
Your photos are all so beautiful!
Love you, Martha

Jimmy's Journal said...

I always enjoy your journal no matter what you post. I admire the inner imp in you and I'm sure that you'll come out of this dark phase well.

Since a lot of your humor is subtle, many people miss some very funny details.

I'm sure your Mom is smiling and she would want you to smile as well.


Tammy said...

I for one love all the parts of you, so let her out. Bloggers are very good listeners and never interrupt you. I bought that same color fushia this weekend.

Your mom is beautiful and I get why you miss her so much w/all these health questions. I didn't even like my mom when she died but I understand her better now. The ALS made me actually miss her.

I'm here and love you,

Michelle said...

Sometimes words aren't enough, and it's simply a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen.

I hope you know I offer all of the above, even when words are scarce.

Your flowers are beautiful. I have the same color fuschia hanging outside my front door. It's the first time I've ever had one and now I'll think of you and your mom every time I look at it ~

and smile.